Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Naked as We came — Iron and Wine

She says "wake up, it's no use pretending"
I'll keep stealing, breathing her.
Birds are leaving over autumn's ending
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes 'round the yard

She says "If I leave before you, darling
Don't you waste me in the ground"
I lay smiling like our sleeping children
One of us will die inside these arms
Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes round the yard.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Uncyclopedia on God

On his biography —

"God was never born. He just always existed. He also won't die. This sort of makes writing a biography an endless torment. So we won't."

"Since the 19th century, some have claimed God is dead. However, in 2005 FOX news refuted this claim with recent footage of God, saving us writing time. Also, he appeared to give His full unconditional support of the Republican party in the year 2004."

On his appearance —

"God is often said to look like the stranger in the mirror, but forgotten prophet Zoab wrote several unique aspects of the immortal being, such as the following description of what God looked like:

First we can state that God has a beard, as this is a commonly known truth and all theologists of all people agree with this by nature. But a fact that is overlooked by most theologists is that God only has one hand. People always talk about "THE hand of God" and never say "a hand of God" or "one of God's hands". This also explains why people who are praying put their hands against each other: they do this to be respectful towards God, as the people would appear to have just one hand too. It would be a huge disruptance of the cosmic order if a mortal appeared to have more hands than God himself. This explains why we are not allowed to depict God: if we were, people would notice He has only one hand. As playing dice is easier with two hands than with one, this also explains why God does not play dice (except in those cases when he does)."

On Proof of God's identity —

Nobody is perfect,
Perfect is God only;
Therefore, God is Nobody.
Therefore, He does not exist.


God is love.
Love is blind.
Ray Charles is blind.
Therefore, Ray Charles is God.


I stink, therefore I am,
Thus the less you stink the less real you are.
Cleanliness is next to godliness;
The cleaner you are the less you stink,
Therefore God doesn't exist.

And last but not least —

The holy wrath of God.

One of these mornings — Moby

One of these mornings
Won't be very long
You will look for me
And I'll be gone .

Sexing the Cherry

"Every journey conceals another journey within its lines: the path not taken and the forgotten angle. These are journeys I wish to record. Not the ones I made, but the ones I might have made, or perhaps did make in some other place or time. I could tell you the truth as you will find it in diaries and maps and log-books. I could faithfully describe all that I saw and heard and give you a travel book. You could follow it then, tracing those travels with your finger, putting red flags where I went.

"For the Greeks, the hidden life demanded invisible ink. They wrote an ordinary letter and in between the lines set out another letter, written in milk. The document looked innocent enough until one who knew better sprinkled coal-dust over it. What the letter had been no longer mattered; what mattered was the life flaring up undetected...

till now.

I discovered that my own life was written invisibly, was squashed between the facts, was flying without me like the Twelve Dancing Princesses who shot from their window every night and returned home every morning with torn dresses and worn-out slippers and remembered nothing."